Five

Five.

 

Five?

 

Five!

F-I-V-E.  Where does time go? While I love that Samara is learning and growing and maturing, something about her turning five also makes me a bit sad.  Five seems so permanent and old.  From now on she will be out of the home more and more.  Outside influences will be greater and friends will play a larger role.  I miss my cooing baby who never slept, her 2-yr old words and cuddles, and my 3-yr old travel buddy.

Here are some of the things I want to remember about Samara at this age:

Witty and Quick

Samara does not miss a beat.  She speaks her mind and remembers everything.  Samara is always ready for a quick response.

Me:  Samara, cut the attitude!

S: Well, you better give me some scissors then.

Me:  Samara, you are destined for greatness.

S: No mom, I am destined to have a friend over!

One Sunday, she wanted to go to the store and I explained that we take a break from shopping and other things on Sundays so others can have a break too.  Samara says, "Well, once we went ward shopping on a Sunday."

When we pulled up to do these photos, she exclaimed, "There are broken windows here."  Then we pulled around to the other side and she said, "This place looks like the junk yard.  Why are we doing photos here?"

Thoughtful

Samara is always drawing pictures for others and is very thoughtful about gifts that she gives others.  She is often telling me what she wants to do for or give someone.  She also loves taking photos and has quite a knack for composition and backgrounds (except she didn't think much of this location:)).

She is a little leader and is IN CHARGE!

She has a "girls team group" at school.  At church we are known as "that little sunbeam's/Samara's parents".  

A few weeks ago, we had some friends over for lunch.  There was an incident and I sent Samara into the other room for a time out to cool off.  I told my friend, "In case you haven't noticed, Samara likes to be in charge."  From the other room she yells, "I don't like to be in charge.  Mom, I AM in charge!"

She is a girl with a plan!

Her favorite days are when we have something going on every hour.  As soon as she is done with one thing she wants to know what happens next.  She is never idle and hates when we don't have something planned.  I hear every day "the day after tomorrow I have dance, it's movie night,  I have a playdate, etc. " She has her whole life planned.  There is a boy at pre-school, whom she wants to marry because "he talks so nice and is shorter than me."  They will live in Texas then Singapore then back in Texas.  They'll have two TVs in their bedroom--one for each of them.  And their kids can each have a TV in their room if they want one.  Today she told me if he died she'd re-marry Ammon.  Her house will have double doors--one red and one green.  Says the miss, "then I only need a wreath to decorate for Christmas."

Loves her "mei mei" and stuffed animals

 

Lizzie was eating and wanted a hug.  She would fuss unless Samara was hugging her.

Every morning Lizzie wants to get into Samara's room to wake her up.  Samara occasionally sleeps on the floor on her "cat bed" surrounded by all her stuffed animals.   She LOVES her stuffed animals and really missed them while they were in storage.  One night she came into Ben after he'd put her to bed.  She asked if she could lay on our bed for a while.  With big teary eyes she asked, "how will we get my stuffed animals out if there is a fire?"

Her laughter and zest for life

Our house nearly burst from all her birthday excitement.  When I don't have little ones in the house anymore, I'm going to look into a rent-a-5-yr-old-for-a-birthday program because it's way too much fun!  Samara Louise, we sure love you!!  Life would not be complete or nearly as interesting without you.

House pics...finally

We've been in our home for 2.5 months.  Wow!   We are slowly settling in and that feels wonderful.   It's been a much bigger pain having all the touch-up work done and little kinks worked out.  Who knew subs wouldn't want to do the job right/get it done after they've been paid?!  It's been many frustrating days wasted waiting around for someone to come do something for 15 minutes, not do it right, and have to come back.  I'm very good at hovering and being bossy now.

I have to preface this post by saying these pictures are lousy.  I most definitely do not have a career in real estate photography.  It took me a month and a half after moving in to find my battery charger.  Then I realized I didn't have a wide (enough)-angle lens so I ended up using Samara's little camera.  I should have just done that in the first place.  The house looks better in person so you'll just have to come visit to see what it really looks like!

Samara's Room

 

Her room is probably my favorite color.  It's the perfect shade of pink.

 

We love the shelves we added to all the closets.  We highly recommend this to anyone who is building.  They are inexpensive and add so much in organization.

 Master Bedroom and Bath

 We really feel like grown ups because we bought our first real bed frame. :)

 

Love this reading nook, bench and book shelves. 

 

Our closet is on the other side of the bathroom and we love it!  The shelves make it so we don't even really need to use our dresser.

 

Do you see the board and batten tub surround?   It's the same off white color as all the trim and the bench seat.  But I'd like to paint it an espresso like the vanities and to match the oil-rubbed bronze trim on the shower.  Opinions?

 Guest Room

 

Lizzie's room and the guest bedroom are the same.  They are both over the garage.  The have a unique shape that made getting a photo of the whole thing impossible.  I'll get a pic of her room when we decorate it.

 Living Room

 

Our living room and office are pretty small rooms but we don't need them to be big.  Love that I have a room that always stays cleans and it's fun to have a place to display the knick knacks from our travels.

Office

 

The gray looks way better in the photo than in reality (it's too purple).  The color scheme for this room will be light and dark gray and yellow.

 Stairway

 

 Bonus area/loft/playroom

 Family Room

 

That couch perfectly describes what this build has done to our relationship.  Ben thinks the couch should be up farther and he moves it forward a foot every night.  I think it should be further back and move it back every day when he goes to work.  And we are OK with the arrangement as long as we feel like the other is not in control. Ha!

 Kitchen

 

LOVE our kitchen.  The 132 hours I spend laying it out and changing it and trying to get a hold of the cabinet guy were worth it!  I feel so spoiled to be able to cook and not sweat and to have counter space, a dishwasher, and a place to store food.  We still need to put in a backsplash.  We are planning on subway (3X6) tiles but don't know what color/material to do.  Any suggestions?  Our island is espresso color and so is our sink.  I wanted to do an espresso colored tile but worry it will be too dark.

Mud Bench

Our mud bench is great but we wish we could have done a bigger one--recommend going as big as possible.  We had planned on the bench extending further to the right, but needed to fit in a return air duct for the furnace in the basement.  [P.S. The day I happened to take a picture is the one and only day it wasn't neat. :)]  That cage is Samara's class rabbit we were babysiting for the weekend.  We won't be getting pets anytime soon.  We have it plumbed for a little drinking fountain to the right of that wall.

 Views

The views are the best part about our place.

 We forgot how amazing sunsets/sunrises are in UT.

 

Good ol' Mt. Timpanogas

 

The "city" lights at night are lovely.

 

Lot below us.  Per the PUD rules they are supposed to keep the trees.  Hopefully, no one will build here for a while.  We plan on do a little camping trip in the summer.  Judging by the copious amount of deer poop, it's a popular place for them to hang out.

Snow

Miss Samara got to attend the Snow Queen Ballet a couple weeks ago with her cousin.  They lucked out and got second row seats and were the first ones to meet all the dancers afterwards.  She had a great time!

We had to to get a few photos, of course.  Here she is explaining to Lizzie that it's in her best interest to cooperate and just get the picture over with.

 Ah!  So sweet.  Gotta love that Lizzie at 18 months is wearing a size 3-6 month coat.  I think you need a graduate degree to decipher how all the different brands figure their sizes!

We haven't had much snow so when it snowed one Sunday a few weeks ago, I jumped on the chance to get pictures in their Christmas dresses.  I'm a wee bit behind on everything....but we are getting there.

L: What is this stuff?  Pollution?  Ashes from the fires in Malaysia? I'm cold!

(We really did have smog come our way from the agriculture burning there.  I don't miss that but I do miss being 10 miles from another country.)

S: It's snow!  Smile, you silly.  She has mini eggs in the pantry.

Keep smiling.  It's a family size bag!

 Now do your serious angel look.  Good.  I can almost taste them.

Say, "mini eggs!"

Denise, thanks for the darling dress!  She refused to wear her original Christmas dress because it was only black and not different colors or pretty like Lizzie's.  We compromised with this one.  Your dress saved the day and now I have pictures of them in their Christmas dresses.  :)

Speaking of mini eggs....we were walking home from the grocery store today.   We opened a bag and the part of the wrapper we ripped off fell on the ground.  Samara promptly picked it up and said, "Mom, I'm going to put this in my journal." I have taught her so well. 

V-A-L-E-N-T-I-N-E

I loved Valentines Day this year!  It was so fun helping Samara make her Valentines and box for the school party.  It brought back memories of childhood celebrations.

 

We had a super hectic day running from one thing to the next.  But we had 15 minutes to spare before we had to leave for school so we snuck in some photos in their christmas valentine sweaters. 

  

It started raining hail(weird how the weather changes so fast!) so we had to call it quits but not before valentine hugs and kisses were given.  

What more could a girl ask for than christmas shoes for Valentine's Day?

Change

I've missed blogging.  I  feel like the last six months were lost in some black hole.  A maniac took over while we were building the house.  We just got internet a week ago after a month of not having it.  I didn't even know it was humanly possible for me to go a month without internet!  I must be super human.  Basically, they run a racket here in Provo.  And we live in some black hole where our only options were a super-slow speed from one company or pay a $600 install charge for another company that would install high-speed.  We kept trying to find another option but there isn't one.  Bleh.  The monthly fee is the same so I finally talked myself into paying the $600 by reasoning that it's just an extra $5/month for the next 10 years.

Another racket...our area code.  Apparently, they ran out of 801 numbers so ours is 385.  Gross.  I feel, like Elaine, cheated and so annoyed.  I'm from UT.  I lived here before they even had 435 as an area code.  I don't want no stinkin' 385 area code.  When internet and the phone line were installed it was exactly like this Seinfeld episode minus the deaths threats at the end.  But then Elaine perseveres and gets her 212 area code back because an old lady in her building dies.  Would it be wrong to ask any of my elderly neighbors if I can inherit their phone number when they pass away? Because I will have an 801 area code!

I created this blog when we moved to Singapore to keep in touch with family and friends back home.  I found it was actually a nice outlet and great way to journal our family happenings.  When we first moved back I thought, "I'll change the blog name 'awaiting winter' when the first snow falls because our wait for winter would be over."  But I could never think of another name.  Then the cold came but it has still barely snowed.  What is up with rain in January?!  Cold rain is no fun at all.  And I have to admit I TOTALLY get why people don't like winter--it's COLD!!  Cold is a lot more work with coats, socks, (how do you keep track of those?!) scarves and boots.  I don't know why everyone considers setting the thermostat to 72 as turning the heat up.  I'd turn it to 80 if Ben would let me.  Thankfully, January came and we've started skiing regularly, which has reminded me why I like winter.  Skiing makes my soul happy. There are fun things you can't do without the cold.  And freshly fallen snow is so beautiful.

I love change.  I love learning or doing something new.  I've always been more of a nomad than a home body.  But I also struggle with the adjustments major change brings.   Singapore was challenging and a learning experience for us in many ways but it was also equally rewarding.  There were definitely moments when I wished 'the experience' was over, but I tried to appreciate that the challenges were temporary and that they presented wonderful opportunities and adventures. One of the best compliments I received was in a note from a photo client/friend who wrote, "I live in Singapore, but you experienced it."  I've always struggled with fully living in the now.  I start to feel down if I don't have a trip to plan or something on the calendar to look forward to.  And I have definitely felt that way since moving back.  The day we moved into our beautiful new home I was overwhelmed with so many different emotions.  We've been on this path to the professorship job with real benefits and a retirement plan and owning a home for 10 years.  I thought I should feel nothing but joy that "we've arrived at our final destination".  But instead I was thinking, "we really aren't going back to singapore.  This this was our goal...our dream?!  I have to clean this place! I have a real kitchen so I have no excuse but to cook regular healthy meals."  Long before Ben and I started on our path together, seeing the world and photographing it was my dream.  Easily and affordably traveling to new places, experiencing new cultures and the photo opportunities in Singapore were all so amazing and ideal.   But I have to trust and know that the travel and cultural experiences I want will come again in another season.  And we are very lucky to have experienced all that we have.  It's been strange to think of possibly being in one place forever or at least knowing this move isn't temporary because so much in our married life has been.

I decided that I didn't need to change the name of the blog after all from "awaiting winter"-- just the subtitle from "The tropical adventures of a little family who loves winter" to "Our family adventures through every season"(or something similar but maybe not as cheesy sounding....suggestions welcome).  Enjoying the now and every season of life (because there are benefits to them all, except teething) is my goal.   I'm working on finding the right balance of appreciating the past and looking forward to the future but living in the present.  I need to enjoy the simple happy moments of everyday life with my sweet little girls, who will all too soon be grown.

And to those who aren't asleep yet and have asked about the house, pictures really are coming.  My battery charger has been lost since we moved in but I finally found it.

Our new view--I forgot how beautiful the sunsets are here!

Fighting Skills

The other day Lizzie and Samara were playing.  Lizzie can get quite rough with her affection.  She'll poke, scratch, grab Samara's hair, etc.  I hear them playing and giggling.  Then I hear, "Oww.  LIZZIE!" voice calms "I wish I didn't teach you so many good fighting skills.  MOM! We need to get Lizzie in a more appropriate class like dance or yoga or something.  No, that would be weird.  Yoga is only for adults."

Fighting skills are pretty useful--something poor Samara definitely did not have when she was Lizzie's age.  Lizzie just turned 18-months old -- the age when kids can start going to nursery at our church.  She went for the first time last Sunday.  She was so happy to have toys and snacks and not have to be confined and quiet in Sunday school.  She came over near me a few times but didn't seem to need me around. Today, I explained to her she'd stay alone and when it was time for me to say goodbye, she gave me a kiss and only fussed, "mama mama" as I walked away but was totally fine when I left.  It sorta...well...really blows my mind.

Lizzie's first day of nursery

excuse the low quality phone pics

Samara's first day in nursery

What a huge contrast to Samara's nursery experience.   Lizzie certainly has been babysat alot more than Samara was.  Ben, almost in tears, the first day Samara went to nursery went with her as a "bodyguard" to fend off any kid in a 2-ft radius.  We were so worried about the nursery thugs hurting her.  Samara started babbling when she was a few weeks old and hasn't stopped talking since.  She would tell a kid if he/she started taking her toy, "my toy. keep." She didn't take toys.  So when they didn't follow the rules, a meltdown would ensue.  We moved from NC when Samara was 19 months old and we were here and there and everywhere the two months before we moved to Singapore so she never ended up going to nursery and certainly not alone.  When we got to Singapore, we stayed with her the first couple weeks and one of the nursery workers really encouraged us to leave her, insisting she'd be fine.  I could tell she was thinking, "what cute overbearing first time parents who think they need to stay with their daughter".  But I knew my daughter.  The next week we left her like the teacher wanted.  About ten minutes later, the teacher came and got me and said, "Well, we normally really try to get kids to stay alone.  They cry and we distract them but your daughter is very specific about what she wants.  When you left she went to the door and started screaming,""Get me out of this place now! I want my mimo!  Let me out!"  I tried not to smile when she said, "You're welcome to just stay with her until she's comfortable."  Samara has always known how to speak her mind!

So many people tell me their first born is difficult and that the second born is easy going.  I know this is not always the case but it often seems to be true.

At first I worried about not being able to give Lizzie full attention like Samara got, but now I think quality time is more important than quantity.  Plus not having the attention on you 100% of the time seems to foster independence.  Poor Samara didn't stand a chance of not being high strung.  We gave her such a phobia of being messy that she still won't eat certain things because they get her hands sticky.  She couldn't spoon feed herself until she was older than I will admit.  Lizzie, on the other hand, often won't eat unless she can use the spoon herself, which means she and the whole kitchen need a bath afterwards.  Once she opened her diaper and played with the poop.  Samara would never have done that.  Samara never drew on walls or got into things but she also never left our side.  At Samara's 9-month wellness check-ups we had to mark "does not do yet" to one of the questions on the "milestones" handouts they give you.  We were so worried she couldn't mark that off that we picked up the one for the 12-month check-up so we could do "homework" and make sure all the questions could be answered "does all the time".  We should just set up the therapy fund now!  I've never even done one of those questionnaires for Lizzie.  The other day I thought she should probably be stacking blocks by now.  So I got the blocks out and tried to show her how to stack them.  She threw them again and again and had a marvelous time doing it.  It is torture for Samara to have to do anything alone.  Eating breakfast alone is practically a life sentence.  Sometimes, I can't even get Lizzie to play with me.  She'd rather explore on her own.

The girls are so different but equally adorable and delightful.  There is nothing in the world better than hearing them laugh and play together.  We love having two spunky girls.

Anyone else have a first and a second child who are so wildly different?  I know kids definitely come with their own personalities, but how big a factor is parenting and birth order? What about your third and  fourth?

House Update

Hello world, I'm building a house.  Soon it will be done and I will be human again.  I will actually listen when people talk to me.  I will think about and do things other than house-related issues.  But I will never be qualified to make another decision again.  I've exhausted my decision making abilities for the year.  I should not make any other pertinent decisions for at least 6 months.  My brain has lost the ability to chose.  I think I will write a 12-step program, "how to resume a normal life and recover your marriage after building". I'm hoping I make at least enough money to put in a yard in the spring.

 It took us eleven tries to get the right color for the exterior but we are really pleased with the color.

We've lost count for the interior colors.  We spent the girls' inheritance or at least Christmas money on paint samples.  They are getting scrap wood from the construction and all the failed paint colors.  Santa gives gifts like that, right?  Samara will get to "craft" to her heart's content.  In fact, she even said she wanted a craft birthday party.  Perfect.  Each kid can take home any color from the Sherwin Williams or Benjamin Moore paint deck.  We probably have a quart of the color they want.  

Thankfully, we knew we wanted the same trim color as the other homes in the development or we may have had to take out a home equity loan trying to find the right white (by white I mean off-white/ivory/ but not yellow or gray tinged.)  I am POSITIVE that many a person has lost their sanity trying to find a true gray.  It doesn't exist.  Grays are either blue, brown, green.  It's so hard to know what a color looks like from a little swatch.  Once you have so many colors up, it's impossible to chose and tell the difference.  We don't even remember what we put where.   Having so many choices cripples you.

 This is our neighbor, Holly Llama.  There are goats and miniature ponies too.  Our human neighbors have already asked us to feed the animal neighbors while they are away for Christmas.  Samara could not be more excited!  We miss the Singapore zoo and our animal feedings there.  Our other neighbor is related to me.  Her mother-in-law is my maternal grandfather's cousin.  Small world here in UT!  We don't go anywhere here without seeing someone we know.

For the record, even though I am complaining/venting, I know we are very fortunate to build a home when interest rates are at a historic low. Everything has not worked out perfectly/exactly how we envisioned it, but we are pleased with how the house is turning out.   It's been a quite process, but will be well worth it.  If all goes well with painting, flooring, cabinets, and countertops we will have a final inspection on the 22nd and, if we pass, we will move in on the 23rd.  Many more pictures to come soon--just to warn you!